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I am 47. I live in Canada. I am so poor that I can't afford a KJV ( isn't that horrible). Anyway, I can't seem to be able to reach Jesus ever since my divorce. I really feel like He has left me! Like I can't reach Him. I am in great need. I have to move in 2 weeks and I can't do it. I am becoming suicidal and this from someone who was super close to the Lord every day and now a gust of wind and I would be finished. My new relationship is in tatters and all my strength is gone. Seriously, I have no happiness anymore and the strength to even find a job is no more. I am a sick tobacco smoker and probably have 2 or 3 years left. Please pray for me. Please help.