Time Poverty
I once heard a man say that he knew his family always had plenty to eat when he was growing up because when he would ask for more his mother …
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Housework Procrastination
Do you ever procrastinate by rationalizing away your housework? Here’s a list of excuses I came across recently: I don’t do windows because…I love birds and don’t want one flying …
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Cottage Cheese Lunch
I once heard someone claim he had discovered the key to losing weight. “Just don’t eat cottage chess.” He said, “Because nobody but fat people eat the stuff.” I’m not …
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Diversions
A man approached the border on his bicycle with two large bags over his shoulders. The customs agent asked, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” he answered. The suspicious guard emptied …
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Notepads
A sales manager brought a new salesman to an out of town convention. When the new employee didn’t show up for his first meeting, the manager called his hotel room …
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TV Soaps
A woman had twins and gave them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt and was named “Ahmal.” The other went to a family in …
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Dad in the Kitchen
Did you hear about the dad who was left in charge of the family while his wife was in the hospital. He told the children they couldn’t have any Kool-aid …
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Hitting the Spot
The story is told of a pastor who designated an area of ground just below his kitchen window as “the spot.” When a well meaning church member would give him …
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Old Johnny One Note
There was once an old mountain man who lived way up in the hills named old Johnny one note. He got his name from the fact that he only knew …
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2 Meals per Day
It was rumored recently that a Washington bureaucrat was considering a new rule that farmers could no longer bail their hay in round bundles. He had determined that cows needed …
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100 Penguins- Communication
A truck driver was delivering 100 penguins to the zoo when his truck broke down. He quickly flagged down a passing truck and said, Here’s $500, take these penguins to …
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Asking Directions
Biblical archaeologists recently made an amazing discovery. For centuries many people had wondered why it took 40 years for the children of Israel to make the short journey from Egypt …
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Efficiency Expert
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture to a group of businessmen with a note of caution. “You don’t want to try these techniques at home.” “Why not?” asked somebody from …
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Baskin Robbins
Baskin Robins Two little robins sat perched in a tree as a farmer plowed his field leaving behind rows of delicious worms in the fresh soil. As the farmer left, …
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Yard Tools
A man noticed his neighbor hired out his yard work to a lawn care company. When the new crew arrived the neighbor overheard the foreman repeatedly yelling, “Green side up. …
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Examing Your Habits
A man watched as two workers made their way down the street. One would dig a hole and the other would follow a few minutes later filling dirt right back …
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Tying Ties
A man went to his dentist and complained, “Doc, what can I do about these yellow teeth of mine?” The dentist answered, “It’s simple, just wear a brown tie.” Wearing …
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Waking up Grumpy
The bumper sticker on a lady’s car read, “Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I just let him sleep.” If her husband really was waking up grumpy he had …
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5 Worst Inventions
Here’s five of the worst inventions of all time: 1. Inflatable dart boards 2. Solar powered flashlights 3. Submarine screen doors 4. A dictionary index 5. Helicopter ejection seats It …
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Think Like a Doctor
A man said, “Doc, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. When I touch my finger on my nose it hurts. When I touch my stomach it hurts. When I …
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